Newton's Ass Theory

Hi Readers,

I have this friend Mr. X, well I am pretty sure you have heard of him, he is one on whose real-life incident I wrote up in a blog “The Old Man Experiment”. So, he has this Question on Physics every time therefore he always asks me these Physics related theory. Though I have pointed out too many times that I work in IT field but I have little bit knowledge on every stuff.

So, one day he came up with this no girlfriend related issues to me and asked me that why is that girl not liking me since I like her very much. Well I said that if you like someone then it doesn't mean that they should like you. Its self decision to make. So he just said to me that but “Mr. Netwon told that 'to every action there is an equal and opposite reaction', so why is this not working here”. Well who can tell him that Newton did not give a rats ass for some like,love or feeling issues, he was concerned with Physics.

In the same way one day Mr. X went to watch a movie but he came house early and I was shocked to see him as his eyes were blackened, it seemed he got in a fight with someone. With great concern, I asked him that what happened to him, so he started telling me that “ I was standing in the Queue and I was standing at single place from half an hour, so I got pissed off as no one was moving forward so, I just pushed the public standing ahead of me. They didn't react for first few times but suddenly they started shouting and fighting with me”. So I asked him why you were pushing others to move forward so, he came up with this Newton's theory again that Newton said that “when a thing is in rest then if it is applied with force it is set in motion until some other force stops it”. Oh man, he is gone mad how many times I need to explain him that Newton didn't think of Public Queues, he thought for Physics. But to make him shut up his mouth I told him that “When you applied force, crowds Kinetic energy transformed to Potential Energy and that introduced tension in the crowd and they kicked your ass”.

I am pretty sure you got confused by above theory of mine, well I am confused till today that what I meant but Mr. X is quite happy about it this theory. He asked me what theory is this so I just told him its “Newton's Ass Theory”. He had not done any search on internet till now regarding this. Even he thinks that Newton is alive till today. God knows that how much lie I have to tell him so, that he talks less.

I hope you all like this theory and approve it. I would be awaiting for your comments.

Thanks

Nakul