Hunger Strikes Back

Hi Readers,

Its been a long time since I have written any post. Some of you may feel like “This guy is done with his blah blah stuff” but I assure you that your sufferings are far from over. I am pretty sure that all fat people will appreciate this post atleast may be they can categorize themselves in the world now. I have not thought on this one with my brain but with my belly which seems to shift me to group of “Fatties” these days.

I have distributed the food hungry people among three groups:-

1- Attackers

2- Seekers

3- Shame-ies

Attackers are those who just wait for food to be served and as soon as it is served, nothing is left on table, complete table is empty within the blink of an eye. You cannot give these guys first chance to eat, they always remain hungry and can eat continuously.

Seekers are those who wait for people to invite them for supper. These guys won't use their money for filling their belly. If you go for lunch/dinner with them, you will notice that they won't take out money until asked for and that too with half-hearted response. Their most favorite part of life is attending parties.

Shame-ies are full of respect. These feel shy when invited among a group for eating. They share their food and feel shy at the same time. They are hungry but will eat so slowly and in that time you can have your food thrice. These are most like slow eaters but its quite hard to differentiate between the two.

Well these are three types of foodies. I am quite sure that now you will be able to recognize these foodies really easily. But as far as I am concerned I am Seeker who likes to be a Attackers. I hope you like it and please let us know what group you belong too.

Thanks

Nakul

GOD and his dictionary

Hi Readers,

This thought came to my mind while I had been going through my dictionary. I have been thinking on and on for a long time since then that how we humans have invented so many words in different languages that we our self don't know the meaning of those each and every term. So in similar way may be there is a very small possibility that god has his own dictionary just to make it sure that he is aware of what new words humans have spoken and what these actually mean. I think that may be the name of this dictionary is “GOD's Multilingual Learner's Dictionary” published by “Heaven University Press”.

The most interesting question that came to my mind is that what would be there in this dictionary of GOD. The answer to this question is really tough as it is hard to ensure its correctness so, I came up with some of my ideas that what I believe would be there. The only thing you need to believe is that the dictionary would be magical as it belongs to GOD. The dictionary would be something not very different from the ones that humans have. Now since we have dictionary depending upon our interpretation of words and their meaning so, the most probable answer could be that GOD's dictionary would be in accordance to his values but since it is to tell him what the words mean therefore the meaning of words would be similar to ones we have.

But this dictionary of GOD would not be as simple as the ones we have. So, I presume that it would come with some additional feature. Well what would be these additional features? This is quite interesting to think upon so what my interpretation is that each and every word would have this “like button” with it, the button is not for GOD to show his preference to a word but to show that what words are used by humans at day to day level, it is exactly like number of page views for the blog. This like feature would work in some way like when we speak a word there is a increase by 1 in the word's like. So, may be this “like” is not a button but is more like a symbol.

Not only a like symbol but there should be an another feature of "Red and Green symbol" beside every term in dictionary just to tell or indicate the purity of each word. Well it is something like a word with absurd meaning or some meaning which is really impure would have a Red symbol while the meaning with a very pure sense would have a Green symbol. If this feature is really present there then I should be correct in one thing that the top most spoken word would have a red symbol for sure.

That is all that I can come up with at this point of time but if you all have anything to add up then you can come up and comment here. If by any means I have written something wrong that is against your religion then please pardon me as I have no intent in doing so. I am perfectly sure that GOD would not feel any problem with what I have written here and at least I can say is that he would laugh at this.

Please comment and share if you like it. If I get a good response then surely I would write something on “History of GOD's Dictionary”.

Thanks

Nakul

Teachers: Their Lake of Grammar

Hi Readers,

“The football is not the air”... this is one of the most famous line that one of my teachers spoke quite a long time back. Actually he meant that “There is no air in the football”. Though we never asked him to speak in English but he tried his best and I respect that but really football and air combination is a missile of laughter. But if we see what he spoke then its quite correct until we don't try to get his perspective. Well I said he spoke correctly because “football” and “air” are really not the same entity.

I would say that he might be joking at that moment of time but I have seen most of the teachers who have a strange pronunciation in English. Let me tell you what is strange about the pronunciation of one such teacher. Well first of all he says “you guys have a Lake(Lack) of Confidence”. Oh really I do have a lake, can you please tell me where. Not only this but “You all give me a lot of Strace(stress)”. Hey you mean Miss Strace, hmm Good for you. He even claims to have eaten “snakes(snacks)”. Were they living or dead when you ate them.

Well these are some examples of those teachers and their Grammatical pronunciation which I remember over the long period of time. There are lot of others who speak like that and may be sometime we our self have this “Lake” of grammar and pronunciation. Nevertheless please enjoy the below lines on their pronunciation-

My teacher spoke,

he had this stroke or stoke

He felt stress or strace

may be he ate snacks or snakes

but i cannot explain that was this

because my knowledge lacks or lakes.

I hope you have encountered such people and I would like you to come forth and share them here. You are most welcome to comment and share.

Thanks

Nakul

Game over ... Nerd wins on Michael Jordan

Hi Readers,

I got this material while surfing and its really nice so i wanted to share this here and let you guys enjoy-

Michael Jordan having "retired," with $40 million in endorsements, makes $178,100 a day, working or not.
If he sleeps 7 hours a night, he makes $52,000 every night while visions of sugarplums dance in his head.
If he goes to see a movie, it'll cost him $7.00, but he'll make $18,550 while he's there.
If he decides to have a 5-minute egg, he'll make $618 while boiling it.
He makes $7,415/hour more than minimum wage.
If he wanted to save up for a new Acura NSX ($90,000) it would take him a whole 12 hours.

If someone were to hand him his salary and endorsement money, they would have to do it at the rate of $200 every second.
He'll probably pay around $200 for a nice round of golf, but will be reimbursed $33,390 for that round.
He'll make about $19.60 while watching the 100-meter dash in the Olympics, and about $15,600 during the Boston Marathon.
This year, he'll make more than twice as much as all U.S. past presidents for all of their terms combined.

Amazing isn't it?

However...

If Jordan saves 100% of his income for the next 500 years, he'll still have less than Bill Gates has at this very moment.

Game over. Nerd wins.

Awaiting you response.

Thanks
Nakul

You kidding.... Thats not me

Hi Readers,

“Hey Nakul, yesterday I saw you with a girl,” said my friend, I had this proud smile on my face thinking that its good he thinks I am with some girl, but soon it disappeared when he said “and the girl was not good looking at all”. All friends laughed and I was feeling like someone shot me but I had to say something so I said “Dude you kidding.... Thats not me may be you say someone else looking similar to me”.

I am not really sure that how many of you do this but this is what I usually say when I am involved in such a troublesome situation. Blame that to your doppelgangers that is the best thing. Well I don't know how many of your friends try to kick your asses in different ways but that is what happens in my friends group where we target a person each day for such a special treatment. The most unusual thing is if someone supported you, that means its your lucky day. Quite frankly I never understood why my friends don't see me with a hot girl, there is always some ugly girl.

Other than this there are most situation that I don't claim of me being myself. This situation is when my teenage pics are revealed to my friends, well this is totally my mistake, I misplace them. SO if they get it they say “Hey dude who is this freaky person, is it you”, I had to respond saying “Thats not me, its someone else”. My friends said “Who someone, this has to go on Facebook its you I am sure”, I said “Are you a cop or something, its my brother”. Well Its better that my teenage photoes never match with me and that is why my friends believe it otherwise it is a kill me situation.

So the motive behind all of the above blah blah crap is that “Never accept of you being you when you sense the situation is going to make you feel like a joker”. I accept that most of it is not going to make a sense but I had to write something to make you understand the whole point. I hope to receive your comments and like. If you wish you can share this as well.

Thanks

Nakul

Money and Mentality

Hi Readers,

I always had this question in my mind but today I really feel like asking it. I have never understood this thing that why we all feel cravings for money? I am quite sure you would say that its an idiotic question but let me tell you it is not. This thought came to my mind after a very recent incident. Well I cannot discuss the incident in detail but I would let you know a summary on it so to make you understand the fairness of the question. So the incident is like "I had to do some collection of money from a group of people and so I went to their desk and asked for the amount of money but their reaction was like I had shot them and they seemed quite surprised".

I can totally understand that reaction when I have not given them sufficient time but here this was not the case. So as far as I am concerned I am not wrong on any perspective. The most irritating thing is when everyone is asking silly question and provide such irritating suggestion for a very less amount which even a poor guy can pay. Well as far as suggestions are concerned, I feel like saying to them that why don’t you come forth and take this responsibility and follow your hectic suggestion.

I have always thought that we have many other things to give priority in life other than money and these things are as below-

1-      Family and Friends (Live for them)

2-      Chocolates (Fight for them), as far as I am concerned I will fight you for any sweet.

3-      Anime shows and Video Games (Love them)

4-      Magic, Movies, and Music (Always have Time for them)

5-      Sleep (Whenever you get time)

6-      Work (Until and unless It is not going to kill you and will not stop you from doing above 5)

I thought of adding Studies and Reading books but I don’t like doing it, I feel sleepy when doing reading stuff so no point of that. I hope you all are not interested in money like a crazy person. Always keep this in your mind feel like Bill Gates at every point even you have no money, just try not to spend like him. Its all about how you feel.

I hope you all like my post and please comment if you have anything in mind to add in.

Thanks

Nakul

The Cellphone Man

Hi Readers,

I have been wondering these days that we all people are so much indulged in our little plaything called as “Mobile phone” that we don't even pay attention to our surrounding. Well this post is on Mr. X though it applies to us all. So, as I told you that Mr. X loves his laptop very much, in similar way he is addicted to his mobile phone. Well he is so much involved in his mobile phone that he won't listen to any of the chat going on in our little social group. So I have decided to initiate a hiring process for his replacement. You can send in your nomination in the post comment section.

So jokes apart. Mr. X has been warned by many of us that please avoid use of mobile phone when you are with us but he won't pay attention to us. Therefore, I came up with this name for him “The Cellphone Man”. The question here is how can we call him a cellphone man, so there are few symptoms we came across in the cellphone man which can be listed as below-

• Uses mobile phones at lunch, dinner and at any place or time of stomach filling.
• Talks on mobile phones while walking on road at most of the time and is unaware of his surrounding.
• Uses Facebook on mobile phones more times than on PC.
• Uses wats-app every time, and gets internet recharge only to use wats-app.
• Will pay all mobile phone bills on time even missing out any electricity bill payments.
• Gets commented and warned on not using mobile phones by people who don't know him at places where there is no restriction on use of mobile phones.
• Most important part is that misses out any updates on friends during social chat. Only responds with “hmm... hmm...” every time.

I would advise you all to look around yourself and check whether or not you are surrounded by such “Cellphone man”. May be you are yourself a “Cellphone man”. There are more things in life than a cellphone or internet so please think and act beyond that 4 inch screen of your mobile phone.

I hope you are not such a person. Awaiting your comments and may be you can add some more points in the symptom list.

Thanks

Nakul

Life of Pieeeee : Confused

Hi Readers,

I am pretty sure that most of you have watched and even liked the movie “The Life of Pie”. But I am not among this group of you all since I have not watched this movie. Well there are some good reasons for this, first of all being time constraint. As some of you might have this feeling whenever you go for a movie that you design a story of the movie in mind. If you say that “No I haven't done this” then its fine because that is what I usually deduce from the movie title. Still I have been thinking that if I am not aware of the story and genre of this movie then what are all possible scenarios I can think for this movie.

First of all, I am not sure whether the movie has a “e” in “Pie” or not. But if it has a “e”, then first thing that came to my mind is that is it a sequel to “The American Pie” Movie series. If yes, then all of the unrated things are fun to watch. I would give extra money to watch this piece of pie. It was a hard luck since no sexy pie is included here. Well humans start with this pie and enjoy having the pie life long. All hail "the american Pie".

The second thing that came to my mind is may be its a mathematics related movie but after hearing a lot of success I thought why are people interested in life of Pie. So what I thought is to tell them that "friends its 22/7 or you can go to 3.14............->i don't know when its life ends. Quite frankly no one knows this pie's ends. Genre wise I thought its a documentary or some kind of autobiography but the real piece of shit is when I saw the poster which had three characters a boy, a tiger and a boat. After seeing this poster I felt like its on The Jungle book and they have renamed mougli to pie perhaps.

I hope that all these pie-ce by piece thoughts are liked by you. Awaiting your comments.

Thanks

Nakul

Stealing Ideas

Hi Readers,

Mr. X is a fan of novel, stories and other books. So we usually visit book stores and therefore this story is about the books. Well I always feel boring when I had to visit a book store and I feel tired when I even pick up a book. This is what I think most of us would claim. Though I have a friend who claims that when he is not able to sleep he opens a book and as soon as he starts reading he falls asleep. I am not sure how much truthful he is. So this time when I visited the book store, I felt like stealing ideas from novel to write my own book.

So I decided to steal some ideas from Philosophical section and therefore I picked up some books. Well its quite tough to understand them. This section was completely alien for me. So, I just left it. Better luck next time for philosophy.  Then I moved to Romantic section, what surprised me the most was that all books were on love story or either on break up story that too with a love agenda. All novels in this section are nearly same, cannot do much about that. So I picked up a single book to just check it out but this is what happened “Oh that is a nice story, but wait its a movie story, what was the title again, crap its 'PS I Love You'”. Here is what my stats say, 30-40% books had a movie story. These stats are prepared by checking only first 10 books at random order.

No animal love books in romantic section. So after looking here and there I got books on animals and that too National Geographic books. Well I can watch TV for that. Then came mythological section, this section is holy and stealing from gods is not a great idea so I left it. Moving ahead I went to this fiction and non-fiction section, all books were mixed in such a way that even no one can guess whether its fictional or non fictional. Suddenly I felt that the place got really crowded in this section, well 60% of total people in book store are found in this section.

You know what I think the best section in the whole book store is? Its the magazine section, but even here the problem is that there were no playboy magazines, I planned to steal some different idea here. So I declared it a rough day, stealing ideas is too hard. I did a go through of this complete book store within half an hour and Mr. X was still searching for the book and it felt like he is searching soul-mate for two hours.

I hope you liked my unsuccessful stealing of ideas and I hope to receive your comments.

Thanks

Nakul

Big, Bigger, Biggest

Hi Readers,

The Advancement in technology has made our life really easy. Now in the present day, we have gadgets available for nearly every use. There was a time when to complete even a smaller task, a person used to invest ample amount of time but now its a total change. But lets not discuss the pros and cons for technology here, it is of no use right now. So, lets discuss a few things or changes that I noted has occurred with the advancement of technology.

Now the first and only thing that we would discuss here is size of gadgets, this is quite crucial part so let me give you an exact example which would be phones. If you look at the phones, 60 - 70 years back, then you would know that we used to have non portable telephones which were having cords so it was not possible to go as far as 1-3 meters. These telephones are still present with us and I feel these will continue to perish as long as human race exists. Then came this cordless phone, partly portable in nature but still limited range. Afterwards came a pager device which I believe was the first messaging kind of gadget. Well I might be wrong with pagers as I never used it and I don't care to google it. So lets skip it.

Then came this portable phones called as mobile phones or cell phones, which were easy to carry and no limited range. But the only issue with them was that they looked bigger then your palm and would do only one function that was making calls and receiving calls. So, after a long time of research and years of advancement gave us small sized mobile phones if you go back 6-7 years perhaps but even they had limited functions. Therefore, there functioning was increased and we got multitasking capable android phone, iphones and other A B C D phones. But since functioning increased, the size again increased for these phones and now we have these 5 inches or more screen size phones which do not fit in our pockets and to solve this pocket issue sometimes we need to buy new trousers. I know you would not believe me but let me tell you that I have seen such people who don't buy trousers as per their size but the trousers whose pockets are large enough to fit their phones. Again we have such phones or let say tablets which work as phones so when we talk, they hide our face completely. I even feel that someday we will have transformers type phones and gadgets which would transform as per our need. Well that would be fun to watch.

So, start buying smaller phones. I hope you like it and comments.

Thanks

Nakul

What the Frak?

Hi Readers,

Now a days I am watching a very popular TV show series “Battlestar Gallactica”. Well I hope that some of you might have watched or even heard of this show. For those who are aware of it, let me specify that I am talking about the re-imagined series which started in 2003. The story is really nice and animation sequence is good as per the year of its creation. But today we are not going to talk about what is good or great in it but instead lets talk about what I find unusual in the show.

So for past few weeks I have noted that the characters in this show use the word “frak”. I tried to search it over the internet that what it meant but there is no such meaning for this word which would make it meaningful in those sentences in which it is used. Even when I am typing this word, the blogger's spell checker shows its wrong. Later on after seeing more and more episodes I really got this word's usage and the correct spelling. So previously I thought that they are saying "Frack". This word is used as a replacement for a popular obscene word that starts with “F” and end with “K”. If you are guessing it as facebook, then you are completely wrong, but general public daily uses it. If you didn't get my point then I can not help you more than that since this is a public viewing site and you are a dumb. Even though use of this word really makes it funny in the show when characters say “Motherfrakker”, or “What the Frak”.

Also the show has this story line which involves “God”. Well up till now I did not understand why the characters are after gods and that too Greek gods specially. Its very confusing and irritating to watch it when for everything they relate it to God. Even in real life we don't say “God” so many times than what they have used in reel life. Also seeing this show after watching movies like Terminator and star trek really makes me think that whether these two movies were made up from this show or was this show a combination of these two movies. But never the less, I am still loving the story line of this show.

I hope to receive your reviews and comments.

Thanks

Nakul

The Super Lappy

Hi Readers,

Sometimes in life we have this feeling that a particular stuff we have is kind of finest and best among all of its kind. Well I hope you all remember Mr. X. This story is of Mr. X and his laptop. Mr. X loved his laptop very much. He loved it so much that he always gave his dislike expression to others laptop and would not miss any chance of advertising his laptop. Why should not he do that as his laptop was working for past 4 years without any hardware or software issues. It was like a best buddy of Mr. X and he presumed it to be "The Super Lappy".

Well this super laptop was the pride for Mr. X and so he used to protect its keys with a keygaurd and if by mistake any one removed it then the person has to suffer the rage of Mr. X. But now this friendship of Mr. X and his laptop was broken last night as his laptop showed a “Time-Of-Day-Clock-Stopped” Error. Since Mr. X is a software engineer, his soul did not allow him to leave his lovable laptop lie untested and unchecked by him. He opened its hardware like a doctor opening a patients heart and starting a surgery even knowing that he may fail. He tried to search the ways over internet to save his laptop but he wasn't successful  All he came to know was that every one is giving solution over the internet without understanding the question.

At last he decided to stop this open hardware surgery of his laptop. We all friends asked Mr. X about what is he going to do with his laptop. So he said “Since his laptop was not touched in its entire lifetime by any hardware/software technician so it will not be touched this time”. Its 4-0 streak continued and will end with its selling. Mr. X wishes to give a full on military type ending ceremony to his laptop.

We all feel proud of Mr. X's laptop as it was the only known laptop with 4-0 streak in present world.

I hope to receive your comments which will surely be shared with Mr. X.

Thanks

Nakul

Mummification

Hi Readers,

Egypt, a place where all mystery lies in the pyramid and sands. In these pyramids lies a bunch of freaky old kings and queen who are officially known as "Mummies". Like Egyptian children, I am also confused that how Egyptian daddies turn into mummies after death but that we should not get involve in this as this is their family matter. But more than this mummy daddy situation the more attractive thing is that how are these mummies created. I usually think that my mummy should be created after my death and should be called as “ The MY”. The name is good as it will not change gender like Egyptian mummies.

The thing is that is it possible to create a home made mummy of one self. Yes I think its possible but if we follow classical Egyptian style of mummification then its totally painful as you need to take out your brain, and other organs except your heart, to preserve your body for a long time. But is there a easy way to do this at home? Yes there is a way. I would say not to try it right now, you can note down the steps and write it in your will so that you can be mummified later if your will is followed and no one thinks you a crack of mind.

Well the first step is to wash your the body with anti-bacterial liquid and with water. You can remove your organs and donate them (don't forget to mention this in your will, its a social service). Then again stitch back all the wounds. Again wash your body with anti-bacterial liquid and with water. Dehydrate your body in the sun to remove moisture and then cover your body with oil better to use pickle oil as it is anti bacterial and will preserve your body for long time. Now wrap the body completely using silk cloth or linen for rich people or toilet papers in case you don't have enough money. The important part part here is that you wrap each part individually that is to say wrap fingers individually and then palm, once each of this individual wrapping is done again wrap the whole body with single cloth. Once done put your body in a coffin and enjoy as you been mummified.

I hope this baby steps to create a mummy out of you would be appreciated by all. Awaiting your comments.

Thanks

Nakul

To Be Hanged till Party Ends

Hi Readers,

In our life, we all encounter some sort of people who according to us should not be allowed to live. But I am sure enough that you all would agree that there are some group of people whom we all would say that they should not be allowed to live. These group of People affect to us all whether you belong to any religion, creed, or anything you take up. Well let me tell you whom I am writing about, these are specially known as "Terrorists". Before you all just leave this blog thinking that "this blogger is going to write something patriotic and social serious topic about these anti-social elements or any organisation of such kind", then let me tell you that I am not going to talk a single thing like this. Though you may feel that things are patriotic in nature.

What I am about to tell you guys is a result of group discussion among me and my friends. Well today we came across a very good news that "On 9th Feb 2013, Indian government hanged Afzal Guru, one of the terrorists responsible for Indian Parliament attack in 2001". You can read about it in the news. So, returning to what we all discussed was that when some terrorists are being hanged then there should be a event organized just to show those anti-social organization live telecast of what will be done when you do such anti-social acts. Well the event should be in this way that terrorists should be hanged in a arena in front of millions of audience. The audience is coming in with popcorn and is sitting down with great interest to see this hanging. It should be something like you are going to see a movie or superbowl or any sports event. This should happen twice a month on weekdays, I prefer Wednesdays, so that we all can get national holidays as well.

There should also be lottery system, saying that five lucky winners will be allowed to slap the terrorist that will be hanged just before he/she is hanged. Also, just to avoid any underage viewers we can make it A rated show to be watched by 18+ above on Television and in the arena. Once terrorist is hanged some firecrackers should be fired and then everyone back to their homes. I know that this shows cruelty and is not at all social but when you will think it from point of those families who lost some of their own due to these anti social elements, you will understand the idea behind this blog.


I hope you all may give some more suggestion to make it an interesting thing. Awaiting your replies.

Thanks
Nakul

The Talk-iti-vity Theory

Hi Readers,

Well I am pretty sure that you all are familiar with Albert Einstein and his theory on Relativity. Sorry to all physics grads if I spelled this theory wrong. But there is one more theory similar to this one and I am confident that may be some of you know it.The theory is known as “The Talk-iti-vity Theory”. To explain this theory I need to tell you about this friend of ours on whose special behavior we quoted this theory. The character of this story is a girl, the best buddy of Mr. X. So I prefer to call her “Miss Y”.

Miss Y has this bad habit of talking a lot. For some it might be a good habit if they are paid for it. When we all first met, so for first few times we thought that she was trying to explain us something every time  But as time passed then we understood that she has gone mad. So the theory was coined at the time when we got sure that she is quite a lot chatty, well we don't want to remove title of mad, as we are quite sure that she is crack as well. As like other experiment we tested, we decided to test this theory as well so that we can come up with some standard definition as well.

Test No 1:- “The Slow Time”

Its quite observational that when Miss Y is talking to someone, the person usually looks towards the watch. Not even once but more than once. This usually happens when we feel like time is moving slowly or we need to catch a bus. We all know that there is no bus at this time for such listeners.

Test No 2:- “The Lost consciousness”

Whenever Miss Y is trying to explain us something, it seems like we lost the few sentences of what she said. Sometimes I usually try to carry out the conversation by using 'Yes/No/Absolutely/hmm..hmm..' such kinds of words. Its good that there is no feedback session after that so I am totally saved. Well we mostly feel need for space at such time. Sometimes listeners have reported that they are unaware of what happened in the time when Miss Y was speaking as they lost their state of consciousness.

After going through above test results we decided to give two definition to this theory but in general both are part of single theory named as "The Talk-iti-vity theory".

First theory says time slows down and consciousness is lost when person starts talking and there is a need for space at such time. So this Phenomenon is termed as “The General Talk-iti-vity Theory”.

Second Theory states that though time slows down for some, for others time is usually lost at the same point and therefore, it is called as “The Special Talk-iti-vity Theory”.

I hope you all like this theory and send in your comments and ideas as well.

Thanks

Nakul

A Lifetime Warranty

Hi Readers,

As you all are well aware of the fact that nothing in this world is permanent but some unexpected things happen at times when we don't realize their sole existence. Well those few lines are good but crap. Lets get back to story. This is about Mr. X, a true story indeed. One day he went to market and bought a Deodorant of a new company. I am not gonna tell you that Deodorant's name was “FOGG”.

I cannot explain you all the featured stuff of this deo but Mr. X liked it. It smelled like alcohol, for first few times it was confusing but later we thought Mr. X has become alcoholic but after a lot of smell-marathon or smell-a-thon(Bingo new word), we came to conclusion it was that deo. I am not a chemistry student but I have this idea that the company plans to burn down the person. But I think its a good way to supply alcohol though it is a brilliant criminal business idea. Duly noted this idea in case I had to become a criminal.

Well the most important feature of this deoderant is that it never ends. If you don't believe me then do a self test and buy it if it is available in your country or you can order online. I feel that it is magical as I am unable to see any end date on that or any best before "_" days warning. Its been almost 6 months may be more but its still usable. The bottle always seems filled. I think if we shake it really well, a genie might come out of it.

Mr. X feels that its the only thing of his 20's age that he can show to his kids. I even think that his kids can show it to their kids and may be this thing is declared as a ancestral legacy in his family. It can also happen that if we all are extinct like dinosaurs and some new age humans dig our bodies out then they could find this deo still usable. I am kind of believing this stuff that it comes with a Lifetime warranty or to be more precise Everlasting Warranty.

I hope you all buy it and reply me with the test results after few months but more I hope that this company pays me for the special advertisement. I even wish to receive your comments and suggestions.

Thanks

Nakul

Newton's Ass Theory

Hi Readers,

I have this friend Mr. X, well I am pretty sure you have heard of him, he is one on whose real-life incident I wrote up in a blog “The Old Man Experiment”. So, he has this Question on Physics every time therefore he always asks me these Physics related theory. Though I have pointed out too many times that I work in IT field but I have little bit knowledge on every stuff.

So, one day he came up with this no girlfriend related issues to me and asked me that why is that girl not liking me since I like her very much. Well I said that if you like someone then it doesn't mean that they should like you. Its self decision to make. So he just said to me that but “Mr. Netwon told that 'to every action there is an equal and opposite reaction', so why is this not working here”. Well who can tell him that Newton did not give a rats ass for some like,love or feeling issues, he was concerned with Physics.

In the same way one day Mr. X went to watch a movie but he came house early and I was shocked to see him as his eyes were blackened, it seemed he got in a fight with someone. With great concern, I asked him that what happened to him, so he started telling me that “ I was standing in the Queue and I was standing at single place from half an hour, so I got pissed off as no one was moving forward so, I just pushed the public standing ahead of me. They didn't react for first few times but suddenly they started shouting and fighting with me”. So I asked him why you were pushing others to move forward so, he came up with this Newton's theory again that Newton said that “when a thing is in rest then if it is applied with force it is set in motion until some other force stops it”. Oh man, he is gone mad how many times I need to explain him that Newton didn't think of Public Queues, he thought for Physics. But to make him shut up his mouth I told him that “When you applied force, crowds Kinetic energy transformed to Potential Energy and that introduced tension in the crowd and they kicked your ass”.

I am pretty sure you got confused by above theory of mine, well I am confused till today that what I meant but Mr. X is quite happy about it this theory. He asked me what theory is this so I just told him its “Newton's Ass Theory”. He had not done any search on internet till now regarding this. Even he thinks that Newton is alive till today. God knows that how much lie I have to tell him so, that he talks less.

I hope you all like this theory and approve it. I would be awaiting for your comments.

Thanks

Nakul

Anger Control : You Piss me off

Hi Readers,

We all have feelings and sometimes we really get angry and in such circumstance we do somethings which we regret later on. I have this few tips for my readers to control their anger. This is what I mostly do. Grab a piece of stick and just start hitting the person who makes you angry. Well this is what I usually imagine if someone is annoying me but reality is quite different. We will get back to this thing later on.

First of all the basic thing is ignore the person annoying you and just say to yourself "The person is a ass (you can use various other slang instead of ass)". From here on lets call him "Assole" (Don't mind the spelling mistake, its there because this is public blog so any age viewer can read). So this ignoring can be achieved by listening to music, if you are thinking how then here is what I meant "use a earphone/headphone" and play some music, in such a way you will ignore the sayings of "Assole". If for some reason you are not able to ignore then just think something else and don't listen to what the "Assole" is saying. This usually works well if you are thinking of your best memory. I warn you that if you think of your breakups with your past girlfriends then this will work like a catalyst and make you angry even more. So do follow this rule with care, its solely your responsibility.

Usually we encounter some Assoles who just don't leave following you and there is no way to say "go to hell". If there is some way then just say "Go to Hell" and say it in such a way that the "Assole" asks you the direction. If there is no way and you are just frustrated then there is only one and one thing to do. If you are a weaker in strength than "Assole" then in such a case you just need to imagine that if you hit  "Assole" consider a slap only and in response "Assole" kicks you really hard and beats you like a dog then you will lose few teeth, a eye blackened and other severe wounds. In case you are quite a body builer and powerful than "Assole" then I have never seen a bigger "Assole" than you. Up till now you should have kicked the persons ass and instead you are reading this.

Well I hope you all enjoyed it. Please ignore the slang and I ensure you that you will not enjoy this topic. The topic of anger discussed here is mostly frustration related and don't think that I am giving you free "Anger Management" session. I hope to receive your views and comments to make it more interesting discussion.

Thanks
Nakul

Zombie-mania

Hi Readers,

I have seen a lot of movies on Zombies most of them are funny in nature. But this is not to make fun of someone who is dead. I have wondered how it would make me feel if I am a zombie. Well if you think you don't want to be a zombie then really think hard because after I tell you what are the privileges of being a zombie then don't rush to me with your comments that "tell us how to be one". Well I assure you I am not writing blogs on "How to be a Zombie". For that I trust you to Google and I am sure of it some noble soul might have written on that.

So Just Click the link as it contains the search result on "How to be a Zombie".

Well if you have been the only zombie in the world then you would be most popular, might be so popular that your name would be written on "Hollywood Walk of Fame". May be Hollywood had been named after you as "Zombiewood". Up till now no Zombie has been named properly except Frankenstein who was nearly a zombie but kind of different as he was medically treated. I think most of the zombies would agree with me that they don't need a doctor. They are mostly non-vegetarian with nothing special in a diet but they prefer human hand mostly left.

Zombies are quite shy in nature as they don't speak much, whenever you ask them anything they will respond to you politely and only say "ARRRRRR" in a much heavy voice. We never let them complete their sentence as they usually kill us or we kill them. They are nearly immortal, I said nearly because they can only be killed by hitting in the head that too with a gun as preferred by Mr. Jesse Eisenberg in the movie "Zombieland" and also I have this theory that if they have eaten all humans then they can die because of hunger.

Zombies have this good sense of "bloody" fashion. Torn cloths is kind of modern fashion to all of us and a little of blood everywhere on the body is what they have in choice. They always do a slow zombie walk to show their style and design of cloths. There is only one problem of being a zombie and that is you can never participate in athletics. Well there is still more stuff to write on Zombies but I don't want to steal someones fame.

I hope all zombies will reply to this post and I hope you like it.

Thanks
Nakul

Linux vs Windows

Hi Readers,

Today I had this curiosity of kicking some asses but I am not sure of whom; the selected contenders are Linux and Windows. Currently I am a Linux user at my home and Windows user at office so I am not sure whom to spare since only one will be lucky winner with lowest point who will get the kick. Here is what I think we need to do; lets try some comparison between the two. To start up with let us take Windows; well here is one of my personal favorite 'I don't like face of "Bill"'. So here is 1 negative mark for windows. Linux has so many firms and separate companies that I am really confused who is the real owner; so if a teacher asks a child who is creator of linux; then if the child is unaware of Linus Torvalds then he can go with the other options "Many of the above". Linux earns one point here for saving a child's life.

So the scores are as follows Linux 1 Windows -1.

Since I am a gaming fan I would award 1 point to windows for having so many games to play and Linux gets a zero here. Linux has a excuse here that no one uses them so they don't have awesome games. But they should be aware of the fact that its gaming company problem and not of users. Also Windows has this XBox for gaming so 1 more marks here.

So scores are Linux 1 Windows 1.

Linux has this very fast start up which I like the most rather to wait for long time in windows. So linux gets 1 marks. Also Linux has this support for all drivers pre-installed in them so no need to install any driver just plug and play. I don't know how they do it but they are genius. So again 1 mark for them.

Scores so far Linux 3 Windows 1.

I face this rubbish problem in Linux when I download from internet, they usually don't have a proper download manager, the ones I used in Linux really suck. So Windows gets 1 point here.

The final scores are Linux 3 Windows 2.

Well I think you know who will get a kick on the ass; yes you guessed it right its "Macintosh" our last minute entry. They have a minus score. Really costly, it seems to me they only sell to Bill gates or what? They should write it on their products if you can buy us then ask for prize. Good for you "Bill".

Thanks
Nakul